My weekend

I was very blessed this last week. I was able to take off early on Thursday morning and ventured down to Dallas, where I picked up my best friend from the airport. She flew in from Germany and gets to spend the next three weeks visiting. Friday I had the day off as well so we stayed in Dallas on Thursday night and my kids and I were able to spend time with her and her kids. Saturday I went to the gym and had a great workout and then went and shot in a pool tournament. I met some new people and got to be around family and good friends. Then today on Sunday we had my daughters 8th birthday party. She got everything she wanted for her birthday and had a great time celebrating. I had fun catching up with old friends and family I hadnt seen in a while due to everyones busy schedules. I had a wonderful weekend and am not looking forward to the Monday morning blues.

A Moral Dilemma

A moral dilemma I have personally faced was my child taking something from the store without paying for it. I remember my son was four years old and he kept talking about the candy he wanted to get while I was going thru the checkout. Little did I know he had picked up the candy and put it in his pocket while I was setting the groceries on the conveyor belt. When we got in the car and got down the street a bit, he said mom look I have candy!! I proceeded to ask him how he got the candy and he stated he put it in his pocket because he wanted it and I wouldn't buy it. Now the easy thing would have been to keep going down the street and talk to him about it when we got home. I didn't do that though I found the nearest u-turn and turned my car around and drove back to that grocery store. Walking in my son is in tears because he now knows this is serious, I walked him back the the register we checked out at and made him tell the cashier that he stole the candy and that he was sorry and would never do it again. The cashier was very stern with him on the consequences of him stealing and that a police officer could arrest him for committing a crime of that nature. I appreciate her for also giving him that speech. While it was embarrassing to both my son and I that we had to go back in the store and take that candy back, I believe it is a lesson he will always remember. He will tell that story still to his friend's because even though he is young it is now instilled in his mind of how wrong stealing something actually is.

Being single...

   There was once a time that I thought to be happy I needed to be in a relationship. Now I realize that the only person that can make me happy is myself. There is no one in the world that can control my happiness except for myself. That is the best and worst thought in the whole world. I learned after breaking up with my boyfriend last year that I control my own destiny. I have to give him thanks for letting me go. I would have never have become the person that I am today if he hadn't. I get compliments all the time on how happy I look and how I even look healthier. Over the course of the past year I pulled out my deepest darkest demons and I promised to conquer them. Although I still wake up every day and have to fight them, I will continue to choose to fight everyday for me and for my children. I realized that I don't need a man but I want a man. I can be just as happy alone as I can with someone. I no longer look for someone who doesn't bring anything to the table, instead I look for someone who is an equal, someone who wants the same things out of life. I have grown as a person and I am happy with the person I am becoming. Finally I can smile in the mirror and know that it is a genuine smile.

Christmas Traditions

               Our Christmas begins Christmas Eve about 8:00 PM. It is one of the best days of the whole year for our family. My mom makes prime rib and we all sit down at the kitchen table and eat as one big happy family no matter what may be going on. After we eat then we open presents and the look on the kids faces when they get their new things is priceless. That look of surprise is awesome and it reminds me so much of my child hood. Both of my parents grew up poor so they never got much for Christmas. As adults its the holiday that they wanted their children to remember the most so they made sure it was the best day of the year for us growing up. I now try to carry on that tradition, and its not neccisarily all about the gifts but it is all about the love. The connection of family of us all sitting together laughing and loving one another. Christmas will always be my most favorite time of year. The time of year when giving is the reason for the season.

Vacation

I get to go to Kentucky in March and I am so excited.  All of my dads side of the family lives in Kentucky and I haven't seen any of them in nearly 4 years.  My brother,  my two kids,  and I will be going there for spring break.  It's just a small town in Kentucky not much there to do but I love the mountains and just getting to spend time with my family is more then enough.  We plan on also stopping in Nashville on the way home and going to the grand Ole opry  or some other tourist attraction.  I just want my kids to have the same kind of memories going there as I do.  Part of me wants to move to Kentucky but right now it's just not in the cards so I am looking forward to my vacation there!!

Overextended

The one characteristic I do not like about myself is that I often overextend myself.  When a friend calls I run right to their rescue even if I am in a bind myself.  I usually wind up with to many things to do and not enough time to you them in.  I wind up tired and overwhelmed. Some days I don't think I can trudge on. I am trying to create a schedule for myself so I am organized with my time and am able to flex myself for those times when someone calls on me.  I am also trying to learn how to say the word no.  This is very hard to do for me.  I believe with learning to say no when it's just not possible will help me in many areas. 

Stephanie!!!

  Where do I even begin this post??  I guess what would be best is telling you exactly who Stephanie is.  Stephanie is my best friend and has been for nearly 14 years!  We have seen many good times and many bad times.  We have smiled and laughed and also cried our eyes out together.  I met Stephanie the fall of our 8th grade year and we became instant friends.  During high school we rode to school together everyday and went to parties every weekend. After high school we kind of drifted apart, for a while  anyhow. Then after having my daughter we lived together or next door to each other.  We grew back together, we grew up together. January of 2014 her husband joined the military and I knew we would probably never live in the same town as her again,  but I also knew that she would always still be my best friend.  We spent nearly every day with each other from the moment he joined till the day they left for Germany in May. It was probably  one of the hardest moments of my life.  Now it's 3 am Skype's and facebook messenger  random messages because we can't seem to catch each other at times.  It's hard having a best friend on the other side of the world but I still know she's always there with me. She's everything you could want in a friend and I'm so glad to call her my very best friend.  Stephanie thank you so much for being you.  I love you!! 

Three of my goals.

   Three goals I have made for myself are to lose weight, get my degree, and be a better parent. I plan to start my goal of losing weight this Monday. I will start eating better and going to the gym regularly. My short term goal for losing weight is 50 lbs, with eating correctly and working out regularly I should be able to reach this goal rather quickly. My second goal of getting my degree is more of a long term goal. To be able to achieve this I first have to get my associates from Western then I want to go back to Cameron and get a bachelors in Accounting. My third goal for now is to be a better parent and that is an everyday continuous goal. No one can ever be too good of a parent, it is an everyday struggle to decide what is best for a child or children. So I continuely try to better myself in that department.

My Stepmother

                        All week I have been trying to figure out what to write about as the event that changed my life forever. I've went from the birth of my kids, to various breakups, to stories of my childhood all the way to adulthood and sitting here still wondering what I should write about it hit me. My step mother, my life changed drastically when my stepmother entered the picture. Most people thing when they hear the word Stepmother of something evil or bad but I was lucky. I have the world's greatest stepmother. She deserves an award for the role she took on of raising my brother and I. My parent's divorced when I was five and my dad shortly after remarried and obtained custody of us. My stepmother always treated us as if we were her own. Every practice, game or play she was there cheering us on. She was so selfless whatever we wanted to do we did. She'd haul all of us and all of our friends to and from sporting events. She would ride the roller coasters with us at theme parks. Most of all though when we had or now when we have a problem she will come running to our side to clean up our bruised knees or elbows or broken hearts. I'll never forget the night that I was crying I couldn't get the baby to sleep and I was having issues with my then boyfriend when she called. It was the middle of the night and she asked what was wrong. I asked her how she knew something was wrong and she just said it's a mother's intuition. I love that about her and now with my own kids I see a lot of who she is coming out in me and I absolutely love it. Most people say they hate that they are becoming like their mother, not I though I would be proud to be half the woman that my stepmother is. She is an amazing woman who deserves everything in the world for raising us to be who we are today.

Grandpa, tell me bout the good ole days...

My grandpa used to sit and tell me stories of the good ole days. I remember as a child that I once told him Grandpa you've told us this story a thousand times before. Looking back I realize I should have listened just one more time. My grandpa was an amazing, smart, and caring individual. He was the rock that held our family together the one you turned to in a time of need. Yesterday my grandpa would have been 89 years old, he's been dead for ten years this year. October 2, 2005, it was the worst day of my life that I have encountered to this day. I've never felt so alone as the day he died. You'd have thought I talked to the man every day the way I talk about him yet the truth is I only got to see him usually once a year. We lived here in Oklahoma and he lived in Kentucky. That one week a year I got to see him always brings a smile to my face. I remember when he used to get down in the floor with my brother, cousin and I and wrestle with us. The times he'd get down there and color, so many good memories flood my brain when I think of him. He taught me so much about life and he taught me that the only person that can make my life good is me. I am so thankful for my Grandpa. I know he's up there underneath that shade tree looking down on me and I know he's proud.

Becoming a mother..

 

 

 

 

Becoming a mother..

 

 

    I never expected my life to turn out this way, but I wouldn't change it. Shortly after high school graduation I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and although it was unexpected it would turn out to be the most exciting and rewarding journey I could have ever imagined. About two years after having my daughter I found out I was pregnant with my son and I knew life would again change. It was a struggle and still is a struggle everyday juggling everything that is thrown at you in life. Over the years I have learned that life is all about what you make of it. Being a single mom is not easy but it is super rewarding, I get twice the love. When I feel like giving up I can look in those kid's eyes and I know my purpose. I was created for them, I am their number one. They are the reason I am here taking this course and the reason I choose to keep on pushing forward everyday. Some days are harder then others but I always know they are watching my every move and that one day they will look back and they will be able to see that I did all this for them. I want so much for them because they deserve everything big and small in the world.

Five years from now I will be..

 

 

 

Five years from now I will be...

 

 

Five years, seems like so long but really it all happens in a blink of an eye. In five years, I will be the mother of a thirteen year old and a ten year old. I will have just finished my bachelors degree and either be working in the accounting field or looking for work in the accounting field. I also hope to be pursuing a master's degree. I hope to have found the love of my life and be happily married. I will be enjoying life as a mother and a wife. I will be living on a good amount of land on the outskirts of town. I have always wanted a quiet country life. I will be providing for my family and financially stable. I know I can achieve these goals by staying focused and by climbing any walls that may appear in my way.